Editorial direction by Holly · · generational, gen-z, communication
What is the "Gen Z stare"? (You are not imagining it)
The "Gen Z stare" is the blank, silent look some young people give instead of small talk. What it is, what is behind it, and how to get past it.
You say “Good morning! How are you today?” to the young woman at the coffee counter. She looks at you. Silence. A long, blank second. Then: “What can I get you?” If you’ve had that moment, you’ve met the Gen Z stare.
The short answer
The “Gen Z stare” is a blank, expressionless look some young people give in moments where older people expect small talk or a polite reply. It’s most often noticed in customer-service settings, but it happens at family dinners and in offices too.
The phrase took off on TikTok in summer 2025, when older workers and customers started describing it and young people started defending it. It was a finalist for Dictionary.com’s 2025 Word of the Year.
What’s actually going on
It depends who you ask, and both sides have a point.
The older view: it’s rude, or at least awkward. A greeting deserves a greeting. Small talk is how strangers show each other basic respect.
The younger view: the stare isn’t hostility. It’s a pause while they figure out what you want. Many say they don’t see the point of scripted pleasantries, or that they’re waiting for a real question. Some say it’s the face they make when a customer says something they don’t know how to answer politely.
There are a few other explanations people offer:
- Less practice. Many in this generation had fewer part-time jobs as teens and spent key social years in pandemic isolation, so the unwritten scripts of chit-chat never got rehearsed.
- Texting habits. A lot of their conversations happen in writing, where you can take your time to reply. Face-to-face, there’s no delay button.
- Exhaustion. A twenty-year-old working a register for eight hours may simply be out of performative cheer.
It’s not only Gen Z
Millennials responded to the trend by pointing out a “millennial pause” of their own, and plenty of people have noticed a “Boomer stare” when a young person mumbles slang at them. Everyone has a blank face for situations they don’t have a script for.
How to get past it
Small talk works better when it asks for something specific:
- Instead of “How are you?” try “Busy morning?” It’s easier to answer.
- Give them a moment. The pause is often processing, not a snub.
- With grandkids, ask about what they care about, not generic questions. “What are you watching lately?” beats “How’s school?” every time.
The stare usually breaks once the conversation has an obvious job to do.
A note on family
If your teenage grandchild gives you the stare at Thanksgiving, it probably isn’t contempt. It may be the same look they give everyone who asks a question they don’t have a ready answer for. Try a follow-up. They often warm up in the second minute.
If a text from a grandkid feels as blank as that stare, the Response Generator can help you write a reply that keeps the conversation going. For related habits, see why younger people don’t answer unknown calls and why your kid texts back “k”.